


Terra Nova

by Anteros



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, M/M, erwin is lawrence oates, polar exploration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 11:29:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14236329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anteros/pseuds/Anteros
Summary: One more step.Erwin focused all his failing will on putting one frozen foot in front of the other. Ahead of him, the dim outline of the rest of the party was barely visible through the driving blizzard; Zoe, Berner, Nanaba, Zacharias.  And behind him, bringing up the rear, stoical and steadfast, Ackerman, the one man among the officers of the polar party.A short and tragic historical polar exploration AU with Erwin Smith as Captain Oates.





	Terra Nova

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seitsensarvi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seitsensarvi/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [Терра Нова](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15578784) by [kira_sky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kira_sky/pseuds/kira_sky)



> I’ve been desperately avoiding the awful inevitable comparison between Captain Lawrence Oates and Erwin Smith, but sietsensarvi forced my hand, and this is the result. If you know the story of Captain Oates, you’ll know how this ends (not well), and if you don’t, there are notes below. I’ve messed around with the chronology a bit, as Captain Scott’s Terra Nova polar expedition took place before WW1, rather than after it.

_One more step._  
_One more step._  
_One more step._

Erwin focused all his failing will on putting one frozen foot in front of the other. 

_One more step._

Ahead of him, the dim outline of the rest of the party was barely visible through the driving blizzard; Zoe, Berner, Nanaba, Zacharias. And behind him, bringing up the rear, stoical and steadfast, Ackerman, the one man among the officers of the polar party. 

~ 

Years in the planning, the polar expedition was equipped with the best that modern technology could offer, the best money could buy. Every risk had been calculated, every route carefully planned. Supplies had been weighed and measured; equipment tested to breaking point. But the Antarctic made a mockery of all their careful planning. Even their most adverse scenarios had not accounted for this. A polar blizzard that raged on for twenty days and twenty nights, and temperatures far, far lower than anything yet encountered. 

~

_One more step._  
_One more step._  
_One more step._

Erwin repeated the mantra over and over as if the words alone would pull him forwards. 

_One more step._

But words and will were not enough. 

He stumbled, feet numb and useless beneath him, would have fallen, but for the strong steady hand that reached out and gripped his elbow. 

“Come on old man,” Ackerman grunted, pulling him to his feet. Pulling him forward. 

~

Conditions deteriorated. The temperature fell below minus fifty. Gear, sleds and clothes continuously iced up. Frostbite made its first appearance, worsened rapidly. They needed to cover nine miles a day to reach One Ton Depot. At best they made six. 

As the storm raged on and supplies ran low, the specter of scurvy stalked them on the wind. The old shrapnel wound on Erwin’s foot began to itch and burn, splitting and opening, the bloodless ghost of the wound that had almost done him in at Ypres. Would have done, if Ackerman hadn’t been there to drag him back through the lines, his foot a bloody pulp. All through the hell of Ypres and Passchendaele, Ackerman had been there, the only one of Erwin’s original company to survive the Great War. 

When he’d volunteered to join the polar expedition, Captain Smith hadn’t hesitated sign him up. 

~

_One more step._  
_One more step._  
_One more step._

Time meant nothing to Erwin any more. Ackerman had already shouldered his pack three days previously, or was it four? He couldn’t tell. He no longer had the strength to man haul his sled and when Ackerman tugged the frozen reins from his frost bitten hands, Erwin was too weak to protest. 

~

Erwin’s feet were in a wretched condition; black with frostbite and rotting with gangrene that spread out in a deadly blush around the old reopened wound. Every night when they pitched camp Ackerman did what he could to dress the sores. Ignoring the hellish stench, he removed Erwin’s boots, peeled off his frozen socks, and cleaned and dressed the wounds with shocking care and gentleness. But there was only so much he could do. There was only so much any of them could do in the face of the remorseless polar storm.

~

_One more step._  
_One more step._  
_One more step._

Every step forward was a battle won and a battle lost. Every step Erwin took on crippled, blackened feet slowed them down, dragged them back. They weren’t moving fast enough; only three miles yesterday. At this rate, their supplies would run out long before they reached the depot, even if the hellish storm let up, which it showed no sign of doing. 

They were good men, brave men. They didn’t deserve to die, not on his account. He could not have their deaths on his conscience. 

~

On the last day his strength gave out entirely. He begged them to leave him where he lay, and when begging failed, he ordered them. For the first time and the last time Ackerman disobeyed his order. He strapped him onto the sled and hauled him through the blizzard himself. A half starving man, half his size, and half his weight, but unsurpassed in loyalty and endurance. 

That’s when Erwin made the decision. 

As soon as they pitched camp, he told them straight, as befitting an officer. No need for histrionics. They tried to talk him out of it of course. Zoe shouted and raged. Nanaba wept quietly. Zacharias and Berner tried to reason. The storm would let up soon. Only four more days and they’d reach the depot. The relief party would already have set out to meet them. Only Ackerman remained silent and eventually the others fell silent too. 

He refused a last meal, no point in wasting rations, but he waited until they’d eaten, then he sat down on the sled propped up at the mouth of the tent. 

“Ackerman,” he said, “help me on with my boots, there’s a good chap.” 

Ackerman knelt in front of him and pulled his boots on over the rotting stumps of his feet, tied the laces carefully with black frostbitten fingers. 

“You’ve done so well,” he said quietly, “it’s only thanks to you that we’ve come this far.” 

Erwin looked down at the man for a moment and placed one hand on his shoulder. 

“Thank you, Levi.” 

Sometimes, often, he wondered how far he would have come without this man. But everything comes to an end and there was no point in dragging these brave souls down with him. 

He squeezed Levi’s shoulder once and pushed himself slowly to his feet. 

"I’m just going outside, I may be some time."

Then he stepped out into the howling void. 

Outside there was….nothing. No cold, no fear, no pain. Just the nothingness of the blizzard and an overwhelming sense of loneliness. Here at the end of it all, it was just him. Alone. 

~

_One more step._  
_One more step._  
_One more step._

He had to get away from the tent. Didn’t want them tripping over his frozen corpse in the morning. 

_One more step._

But his ruined feet would not obey. 

A tug, at his elbow, a tug. Just the buffeting of the gale. Then again, more insistent. 

He turned his head, could barely see the hazy form through frozen eyelashes and driving snow, but he’d know that figure anywhere. Had always known it, because he was always there. Always at his right hand. 

“Come on old man,” Ackerman said, “I’m coming with you. One more step, then we can rest.”

Together they walked forward into the storm.

**Author's Note:**

> Captain Lawrence Oates was a member of Robert Falcon Scott’s doomed Terra Nova Antarctic expedition that attempted to race a Norwegian team led by Roald Amundsen to the South pole in 1913. Amundsen beat Scott by 35 days and Scott’s party perished in horrific conditions on the return from the pole. One of the first to die was Lawrence Oates. Crippled by frostbite and gangrene, which may have been exacerbated by the effects of scurvy, Oates knew he was slowing the progress of the whole team and risking their lives. In a vain attempt to save his companions, Oates walked out into a blizzard to certain death. He is remembered today for his heroic and selfless sacrifice, and for his famous last words "I am just going outside and may be some time". 
> 
> Lawrence Oates died alone, Erwin Smith did not. Not in this life or any other.


End file.
